It's the Most Wonderful time of the year....if you're a stinky plant

As the end of November rapidly approaches, like a lion with a deer's hindquarters in his periphereal vision, so do the spectacles of the Christmas season start to appear. There is much of it that is so delightful, and the Baslers have really done a superb job of decoration with some really classy lights spread over all their shop fronts, and the streets so beautifully lit up. Plus, last week giant Christmas trees were deposited throughout the region, ready to be hung with cheer.

Tomorrow the Christmas market is starting up here and it's quite exciting to go to a genuine German market, rather than an imitation one in the U.K. Perhaps the coolest thing in my opinion though is the WunschBuch, or wish book, which is being set up in the town hall, for locals and tourists alike to write down their wishes for the future, their Santa lists, or just their general thoughts. The temptation to dedicate an entire page to me, myself and I, is pretty overwhelming. A word of caution to myself, don't give yourself too much free reign...who knows where your terrifying mind will take you! Such a lovely idea though, everybody should get to write in a wish book!

Of course, the Santa Claus equivalent for Switzerland, Nikki Nacki, is coming to town the 6th December so the children will be all sugared up and ready to go mental even earlier than they would be at home. It's interesting how the celebrations differ.

I found myself yesterday being a bit of a street cynic. There I was, rushing to Starbucks for an hour of my much loved me time, where I indulge in reading something on my Kindle, having a coffee, and usually some sort of pastry and enjoying the free Wifi for checking my emails. It's my Tuesday afternoon tradition. As soon as I got off a tram, a woman clearly addicted to drugs, struggled over to me to beg for money. I wasn't about to give away my last francs to an addict when I myself was basically unemployed and, if not for kind friends, would be homeless. I shook my head no and rushed on. Next, a man tried to get me to do a survey about something. I just couldn't be bothered trying to say 'I don't speak German' so I just ran past him to. Eventually I got into Starbucks and had my blissful time as normal, but my mood soured a bit when I was once more back on the streets. This time an entire family, I think they were Spanish, were singing some music together while the father played the guitar. Now, why do people think that children singing automatically renders a tip?? There was this one child in the family who had the most horrible nasal tone of voice who was murdering the song. If it had just been the father singing I might have tipped them, he had a lovely voice like an acoustic Enrique Iglesias but I just didn't want to tip them because then they would have assumed it was because a child was singing and I didn't want to award a lack of talent. I felt like Simon Cowell. She just didn't have the X Factor. Gimicks don't impress me much, or Shania either.


Last Friday I went out to Paddys with my Hungarian friend Rita. We wanted to go to the nightclub. We arrived at 9 something and enjoyed a drink or two and talked to some people. Then we decided we would go outside for five minutes to get some air. In the mean time the bouncers had arrived. So we need to go through them to get back in. One of them asks me for ID. Bit unusual but I hand it over. He looks in confusion at it so I say 'It says I'm 21. I'm 21' thinking to myself, I'm legal in every country! Then he says 'Sorry, you have to be over 23 to come in.' What??? What sort of a stupid cut off age is 23?? Furiously we stand outside, watching everybody else get in no problem, majorly annoyed that if we hadn't gone outside, we could have gone straight into the night club no problem. We contemplated whether someone would help us climb up the wall in through the smoking room, without getting caught by the bouncers. We saw some blonde girls standing smoking. We go over and Rita asks 'Can we borrow your ID?' They instead give us an idea. Handing our coats and bags over to the girls inside, we tied our hair back and marched towards the bouncers in our bare arms in one degree temperatures. Looking casual, we saunter around the queue and say 'We just stepped out for a minute, can we just go back in?' They reply 'New policy, you have to re-queue' No mention is made of previously seeing us there, or us being 'underage'. We queue. When we reach the front, we are waved through no questions asked, to the tumultous anthem of 'Celebrate, good times, come on!' Laughing hysterically, we are set to enjoy an evening full of Fake Gyllenhall, coincidental Hungarians, hair touchers, fights and lots and lots of shouting of 'Cheers!' What a good night. This Friday: me and the girls are going out again. 

On the radio, we were all in hysterics over, amongst other things, puppets and stinky plants because, that's right, Basel is the proud owner of the world's biggest and most stinkiest plant. Apparently it smells like rotting flesh. Delightful. Must pay that one a visit!

In other news, I had such a relaxing shower this morning that by its conclusion, I literally felt like that Buddhist monk who meditated for so long that his legs simply dropped off. He is real. Look him up. So is the guy who is responsible for dressing street gods in their day time clothes and night time clothes in their little box. 'Do street gods wear pyjamas?' The title of my autobiography, coming soon to a back alley near you.

I'm just soaking up the last few weeks of my time here, which feel like they are passing by as fast as seconds. I'm majorly gutted to be leaving so many great people here before I've really had a chance to see what Switzerland has to offer for an entire year. Plus it's an absolute nightmare of a headache to try and cancel stupid obligatory health insurance and if I wasn't leaving then I wouldnt have to cancel it...but on flipside, would have to keep paying it. Hmmm...okay, maybe it's not so bad to try and cancel it.

I wish I wasn't stressed out about terminating my employment early, cancelling health insurance, baggage allowances, de-registering as a citizen because if I wasn't, I'd be able to completely let loose and go mental for these last four weeks- four weeks today actually aaaaah what??? Even so, I'm going to let loose. No flipping way am I going to work that last Monday and Tuesday. Nosiree, definitely stopping work the week before. I have to seek assurance from important people in my life that I am allowed to let someone down. I am, right? They fired me! Left me up Shizzstream without a paddle! I can not work those days, yeah? I don't really feel like getting insulted by two children as my last memories. There's places I'm dying to travel to before leaving...

a trip to Lucerne is on the cards, pleeeeeease yes let it happen!
and a trip to Bern hopefully
and a leaving party? I feel like I want to say goodbye to people, but can't be bothered organising an event if nobody is actually going to show up. There's probably only about five people who actually want to say goodbye to me here and they probably know who they are.

I definitely accidentally threw a glass of water at myself today. Perfection. Billy Joel was standing in the corner of the room, as I desperately mopped up the mass of water in soggy socks, gently strumming his guitar and singing 'She's Always a Woman to Me'. And he was right. 

The five pretty irrational things that have got me excited this week...

Dear Readers,

As I have recently taken to eating vast amounts of pureed fruit products (I am currently chowing down on some apple and plum- ohne zuckerzusatz of course!!-) it got me to thinking about all those kind of crazy things I used to get excited about when I was little. Actually, that's a poor choice of words- I am still quite little, just not so young anymore. On that point actually, only five weeks today until I turn 22- what?? And therefore also only five weeks today until I leave here. These next few weeks are rapidly turning into a busy and exciting and saddening rush of meeting new people, going new places, doing new things, and saying goodbye along to the way to everybody lovely I've met here. I am a little bit sad about the whole thing, because if it was possible to stay here just for the social aspects I absolutely would. Anybody else reaaaaaalllllly hating the job market right now?? But I knew it was time to leave when I couldn't even get a job in McDonalds because I didn't have fluent German... :s

Small victory: managed to do my entire Starbucks cashier interaction in German and knew exactly what she was asking me and how to reply without her changing into English mid way when I slip up as normally happens- YESSSS!!!! If nothing else, this has made my trip a success

So anyway, hastily leaping off the fastly fleeing tangent ship I was aboard, doggy paddling frantically, and regaining my breath upon the Island of On-Topic, I have been having a think about what weird things there have been that have got me reaaaaaalllly excited lately. Usually it doesn't take much...but some things have just had an insane level of impact on me. So without further ado...or much ado about nothing (though I love a bit of Mr Wilde's dramatic works *winky face*)

1.  The All-Blacks Haka on Sunday. There I was, sitting on my bed with computer set to capture live BBC 1- Scotland v New Zealand. I love Irish rugby, don't get me wrong, I went the night before to watch their match against South Africa, I sang along with the rugby anthem in the pub, I cheered for their scores, I ooooh-ed and aaahhh-ed like the best of them. But we lost. And that was a bit of a downer. I still love my country. And our team. But why don't we dance?? For all who haven't seen a Haka:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebZVMc0NKZs&feature=related. I could hardly contain my legs for shaking with excitement for the five minutes before they were due to come on the field and do their thing. My coffee granules spilt everywhere when I was making a beverage. I could barely breathe. I can't tell you why it gets me so excited. But when it was happening I couldn't think of many things I'd rather be doing than watching them do their thing. They've just got such style.

As does Dumbledore.

Let's take a moment to reflect on the sheer splendor of this image to our right. Dumbledore. Has Got. Style. And I really like his hair here, wish mine would sit so nicely :)

2. Gruyere cheese was on offer. Get in. I was doing my usual budget shop around Migros when I saw that my absolute favourite cheese was on offer and therefore the lucky cheese I was going to buy. It's just so darn good. Wish I had stocked up!


3. My first successful all-nighter club evening. Yes. I went to a night club. And danced all night. I literally danced all night. I've been going to Paddy Reillys for months as you know, readers, but only on Saturday did I learn that there is an actual downstairs night club section. I thought everybody just rocked around the bar area and that was it. Mind blown. So yeah, there I was, one minute watching the rugby match at 6.30pm, next minute going to bed at 6am. Crazy times. Of course, I went clubbing in jeans and a jumper because I had only gone to the pub to watch the match, but at least I had the foresight to wear high heeled boots. Not a total fuddy duddy. Of course, there was an abundance of absolute creepers who tended to descend any time you were alone unchaperoned, and sure my only chaperone was the brother of a girl who I vaguely know and who quite frankly hates my guts, but I still had a good time. I am proud of myself for surviving. Now I am very wary of Ne-Yo's 'Give Me Everything' though because in the line 'Grab somebody sexy, tell 'em hey' I could see a creeper lurking near by and I had a moment of dread and then the worst happened and he meandered up to me and well and truly said 'Hey'. Uggh. Never could have imagined I would have got so much attention on a night out though. Swear times have changed since my teenaged years...those two times I went out. Or maybe I've changed. Cool.


4. At this point in my blog writing, I have just returned from the wash room, armed with some freshly cleaned clothes. And amongst them is fresh bed clothes. Ahhhh! Is there any thing more exciting than the first moment you get into bed the night of wash day?? Especially if you are partial to the cold bed dance as I am...AND it's really cold rendering the dance not just fun but necessary...AND the bedclothes are fresh fresh fresh! I for one am already a little bit overwhelmed for tonight and it's still many hours until I will be going to bed. If you're looking for me this evening..I may be curled up with some sort of Hilary Duff movie and my lovely clean bed clothes- bliss.com

5. The final thing I'm excited about right now is the kick ass sunny evening we're having here. The sky is blue as Prince Eric's eyes, the autumnal sun is making the autumnal leaves evening more golden orange, the air is crisp but mild enough for exercise, and I have an ipod full of new songs I have downloaded and want to listen to. The scene has well and truly been set for an epic walk. Here's hoping I don't accidentally wander an hour towards Germany this time. As soon as this next load of washing finishes, I am out of here to get some much needed oxygen.

So, that's all folks, the five things I could think of on short notice that have really tickled my fancy the last few days. Not to mention, of course, my ongoing fun with the radio, and the friendships I have just made, and the original friendships I made here that have been rekindled...and here's to the not so fun moments too. But let's not go into them. Cheers/ Slainté/ Salud!

QOTR

Would you like butter or jam...boree?

Sunday morning walk

Are ya well, cuz you're looking well! ;)

Here we are again, at the cusp of something happening...probably my tangible grasp of reality slipping imperceptibly. But something anyway.

As we stand I am the proud survivor of another weekend. And it's been a pretty good one! Saturday was a big challenge for me- being alone for an entire day with the children. I was so scared I'd mess up...but I was also super determined to prove my critics wrong that I could do it without any help. And I did.

There were a few funny moments on the day. I was chuffed that they downed huge plates of the sausage and mash I made at lunch as they are usually pretty meagre eaters. Must have been good. Who am I kidding...I'm practically a professional masher. It probably helped that I did an amazing interpretive chipolata sausages song and dance while I was cooking. Yep, that one went down well!

Para-para-paradise

I had a nice time mid afternoon when we went up to Mariastein to see the end of the vintage car rally which the parents were competing in. I enjoyed a momentary reprise and had a lovely chilled glass of Feldschlossen (the lovely local beer) and then my friend came and met me there and we did a geek-tastic tour of the huge monastery in the village. I had a paranoid moment when my shoulders were uncovered in the church so had to drape my cardigan but nobody seemed to care. The confession booths had a light on top which lit up when there was a booth available- really made me laugh! Also went to a very scientific and interesting exhibition...just a shame the explanation was all in German so I had to make an educated guess at most of the content of the exhibition. Seen lots of pictures of poor Jesus- why is it always the saddest moments of his life portrayed? I'd love to see a picture of him laughing with villagers or talking to the disciples, you know?

I made the colossal mistake of making Willy Winky funny near to bed time. I asked them the very philosophical question that was 'You know the way Willy Winky comes to the houses at 8 o'clock? What happens if he really needs to do a stinker at just that moment?' It resulted in an explosive round of shouting Stinky Winky and raspberry blowing which had them very hyped up before bed.

It's France!

 Sunday morning I went for a stunning walk out in the country. The weather was just perfect, so warm and dry but not yet scorching like the rest of the day was. I found myself standing on the top of a hill, with France and Switzerland laid out before me side by side and I had such a giddy moment of 'I'm in two places at once!' One of my life goals fulfilled :)

Next up, sand on a beach...

After my walk, I felt very chilled, I put on my jazzy new green trousers, and I went into the city to meet up with BB. We were going to do the whole tourist thing because sometimes when you first arrive at a place you just don't go exploring straight away until you find your footing. Safe to say, we've well and truly found our feet now. That's one of my favourite things about BB. He really likes to be daring and spontaneous. He lives life a lot closer to the edge than I do. He doesn't get worried or scared by rules, or fear of getting lost, or anything like that. He does things with the utmost conviction that somehow it'll all work out, no matter how lost you get. He's a cool guy.

New present...for me??

We saw some really funny sights while we were there. While walking down a random sort of back street (spontaneous short cut...edgy) we happened to stumble into...a scout jamboree. What?? It was mega cool, with stalls and cool wooden dens, and stalls of info and a bbq. Completely wacky! Next up, we stumbled down towards the Rhine. We came across this weird sort of party storage thing where there was loads of crates and chairs and, much to BB's delight, a box of fine looking tall beer glasses. He took one. Daring. Oh, the vicarious adrenaline rush! Meanwhile, I had my own adrenaline rush when I slipped on some wet moss and nearly fell into the fast flowing Rhine. Stupid flip flops!

Stunning, no makeup working photo, with the pretty Healey in background :)

We also went and geeked around another church and admired the archictecture of the Munster and all the general old buildings- things were made so much better then. We went to McDonalds for lunch- I was loving it, haven't been there in aaages so it seemed all fresh and new. Got my classic order of McChicken Sandwich with chips and coke. Classic. Did consider the happy meal...but the toy wasn't up to much!

In the afternoon, we headed to Paddys as usual to meet the gang to watch some sport. This week's new sport for me: Hurling. I loved it. Wish I'd seen more of it before. It's so fast-paced and engrossing, I couldn't believe it when we reached half-time, and when it ended, went so quickly. We were all cheering on the underdog team and they ended up tie-ing with the other team so it was really cool to all be cheering together and feeling like part of something. There's talk of the Basel lot forming teams for GA, Hurling and Camogie. I'm really considering giving Camogie a go. From what I can gather...it's like hockey but you can sometimes use your stick as more of a weapon, and you barrel into people in true rugby tackle style. And if you knock someone out...it's not always a yellow card. Fantastic.

Today I went to a lovely swimming pool place behind the beautiful castle in Bottmingen with the children. It was really cool. I only got to go to the kiddies pool but across the bridge there seems to be an epic swimming pool with a water slide and everything...maybe someday I'll go back while I'm not working and give that slide a whirl.

Also, I totally ordered mince at a meat counter in Coop entirely in German...I'm like a pro now. Except for when I try to set up a bank account and an entire post office have to join in to help with the translation.I swear my life is sometimes like an Indie European subtitled movie. Deffos getting a bike with a basket next to ride down all the cobbled streets. And to put a baguette in.

Freaks on a Tram

Coming this blog post to a computer screen right in front of you, I bring you Freaks on a Tram...from the maker of some extreme social faux pas and some pretty entertaining blog posts, be afraid.

Nobody is safe on the tram. Well, that's a bit drastic. I'm not that safe...but that's because I seem to attract absolute weirdos! No offence to any of my friends, I don't mean you guys!

It's not so much that I never feel safe on the trams. I do normally. Just in the past few days I've encountered a strangely high proportion of slightly bizarre people ranging from the odd quirks to the full on creeps.

Anyway, as you can see from my rather brilliant (I know, it's terrible!) film poster to the left, you get all sorts! And there hasn't been a man with a roast chicken on his head chasing me or anybody shouting 'Here's Johnny!' as the poster would suggest...although the chicken chaser would actually be pretty hilarious...

So, I will briefly incorporate my top three creepiest encounters into a rhyming song (you can make up the tune yourself!) Don't I spoil you all? ;)

On Saturday, to my dismay,
I seen a somewhat normal boy
He took to grinning at me there,
And acting mighty coy.

Unfortunately, I did there see,
A constant sniffer of armpits,
As between his smiles to me,
He really sniffed with true grit.

On Sunday afternoon
A man came and sat beside me,
He decided it would not be weird,
To try and reach to touch me

He pointed at my hands, my face,
He made a scary sight,
He asked 'Warum?' and pointed
And really gave me quite a fright.

On my walk home, to my surprise
A group of men I saw there,
They were gathered into a group,
And made noise without a care.

To my chagrin,
A chime did begin,
They made the sounds of a telephone,
And really made me wish for home.

I don't know why, but it seemed less psychologically damaging if I made it a song instead. :-/

In other news, as is the tradition of my blog, I'll give you a run down of my latest happenings and events.

On Saturday, I went to visit my friend Kevin in a city called Aarau. The train there was pretty uneventful although a weird man did sit next to me and try and chat while loudly slurping his red bull. Great. We did all the sights (well, what we could see through the downpour) and wandered through a jumble sale where Kev tried to buy some binoculars from a big box only to be told by the man in a weird broken German/French language that 'These are mine. You can't have them.' We went out for pizza and strolled around with a rather malfunctioning umbrella.

It was a lovely chance to talk, and I can just talk to him for hours without stopping (much to his annoyance). It's so nice to have made such a good friend already in a new country. Plus, he's an Irish lad so we don't have any language barriers. Maybe just a sarcasm one. He's also such a gentleman, he was kind enough to pay for things and to hold an umbrella over me- have I mentioned before how much I love people being gentlemen- they're my favourite kind of men species!

There were some funny sights to be seen. A man dressed as a bear who gave out honey in exchange for cuddles...and money- typical Switzerland! There were a whole group of people playing bongos just for fun-sies, and I wondered whether they might have been a cult. I confronted my fear of freight trains and we just generally had a fabioso time!
 
On Sunday, I went for a lovely walk in the morning- there's nothing like listening to Johnny Cash as you walk towards France to clear your head. The dog and I were both wrecked afterwards though. 

In the afternoon I made my way into Paddys for my first ever taster of a Gaelic Football match. It was a nice chance to just chat with all the Irish crew and just generally have a merry time of things. It wasn't quite the 12 hour situation of the Sunday before but it was a good afternoon/evening. The BILL society was formed, I learnt the rules of a new sport, and the drink was flowing merrily.

Today, and I will leave you with this anecdote, I discovered that the little girl has two girlfriends and a boyfriend who regularly ring her on her toy mobile phone. It's funny how accurate she is. The girls are really needy and keep ringing her and then she groans and is a bit of a man about things...anyway, I asked her what her boyfriend was called earlier and this is the conversation we had:

Me: Who was that on the phone?
Her: My boyfriend
Me: Oh dear, is he ringing you again?
Her: Yeah...lots
Me: What's his name, anyway?
Her: FizzyMan
Me...WHAT???

Fizzy man??? Where does she even get these things?? I am a little concerned about her polygamous bisexual imaginary world though, I must say...

On a lower point, she also got knocked off her bike by a ginger boy with ADHD... nicht so spass!

So the moral is: Stay away from freaks on trams...and from gingers with a shifty look.