An illegal immigrant koala from Brisbane

Hello, and how are you?

Amidst my mass hysteria and extremely busy days of basic unemployment- yesterday I stood in a shop aisle for upwards of three minutes, trying to decide which coffee to buy. On the one hand, I could be a jar of instant, but it is ridiculously expensive here...seriously...and I would most likely poison my veins trying to complete a whole jar in two weeks. On the other hand I could buy a box of sachets. Not the strongest caffeine fix but will definitely get them finished, they are delightfully foamy, and the one I decided on featured a fine ass chocolate companion, amidst the foam of cappucino- I have managed to find a moment to write up my latest blog entry. As I'm sure you all can barely contain your excitement.

I have recently been delighted to discover that country music is finally getting some exposure in the U.K. Only small right now, but there's a definite community arising and there is the first ever country music festival happening in the 02 arena this March. I want more than almost anything to go to what will surely be a milestone of development, but I can woefully ill-afford the weekend pass, even though it isn't over-priced. I'm so fed up of being unemployed, I really am. Ripe time for this old bird to get a job. Tickets go on sale in two days...and I'm yet to come up with a solution as to how I can possibly afford to go...when I literally have less than the cost of a ticket in my bank account :(

Also, apparently Easy Jet are very mean people. They won't let me cancel my flights back to Switzerland after Christmas so I thought I'd change the flights to a different date. Although there is no difference in flight cost, they want to charge me an extra 35 pounds PER FLIGHT to change it...it would literally be as cheap for me to buy new flights. I just want a refund! <:( Wish they didn't have this policy.

In other news, I have had a lovely week since my last entry. I've been away visiting my special someone ;) in St. Gallen for like three full days. And what a marvellous adventure has been had. First of all, there was loads of snow. How absolutely glorious. It seems to be refusing to snow in  Basel so it was an absolute treat to be able to frolick in the snow. I stood waiting for a bus outside at one point, just letting the snow flakes fall down on me like the happiest little freak in the world, a fresh Cappucino in my system, a smile on my face and a dream in my heart... *barf* sorry, had to add that last part when I sounded so gushy. It was an accident, I promise!

It was a great weekend for many reasons, not many more so than the fact that we made two new friends this weekend. There we were, watching a little bit of CBBC on a Sunday morning when a very wonderful thing happened.

Along came a little show called 'Bear Behaving Badly' and two little guys called Nev- who some of you might recognise from a little show called Smile- and...wait for it....Krazy Keith. I don't know if you're aware, but Krazy Keith is, and I quote "An illegal immigrant koala bear from Brisbane, Australia" I hope that has whet your appetite. If not, I might add he has an inanimate bunny girlfriend who he has NUMEROUS conversations with. Oh yes.... television just got real.

The real love affair in our lives began, and there hasn't been a conversation since which has not contained at least one reference to either Keith, Nev, or Keith's STUNNING quote "Streuth! You're one sausage short of a Barby!" Oh how the laughs were had.

I also fulfilled one of my childhood dreams...and I must add here an apology to feminists everywhere, you might want to look away... I got to pretend to be a housewife. Like a cool one, from the 50s. I tidied his house, made dinner, put on some scenic country music and welcomed him home from work with a smile and a hug.

And then we watched Pointless. The ultimate ending to any dream. Well, Alexander and Richard are an amazing team, after all. I don't mean to boast (well actually, that's technically a lie) but I was totally scoring some pretty low scores on the show...in the very near place to being pointless ;)

In other news, we went to see Cloud Atlas in the cinema as well. A much anticipated viewing and one of the best things about living here. Because poor old U.K isn't getting this film until March for some reason. It's kind of ridiculous really, that the film has been dubbed and translated into every language and shown to pretty much every other country by now, but it can't be shown in English. In the original English speaking country... seems a bit weird. Especially as I watched the film in English...in rural Switzerland.


Mind blowingly excellent, confusing and downright bizarre, it's a film I'm not going to forget for a while. The actors' numerous roles and disguises were just...amazing. The sheer vastness and depth of their transformations are something I never could have imagined possible, and what an amazing project it must have been to be a part of it. A stellar decision on the film maker's part to cast big names for every major and minor role. Beautiful.

The days are racing away with me lately, and I know it probably seems like the longest and most pointless countdown you've ever encountered- as I keep mentioning it in every blog- but it is literally only two weeks now until I am at the airport. A fortnight. Fourteen days. This doesn't seem like too much time left. And I'm running out of days here to say goodbye to people, or have last days of fun or try and get my head around the fact that when I leave, I might have to leave as someone who is alone, or forgotten about. Truthfully, there are only about five people who actually want to say goodbye to me. And I'm struggling to figure out whether I should bother having a 'leaving do' or just say goodbye to these few on their own and use my time with goodbyes to the only few people who might actually think of me occasionally after I leave.Why waste my time if I'm only a passing thought in a busy mind? I'm sure the five people here know who they are, and I'm pretty sure I've already been in discussions with all five about what we're gonna do for my last few days here. I hope I am still in touch with them all and that we can meet up other times in our homelands, or if I come back for visits.

What an amazing period of my life this has been, though. If I think back to the place where this blog started out, it's fascinating to track my progress here, and how completely things started to turn around. I was reading my bucket list that I wrote back in August, if some of you were reading back then, and this is shocking news but:
I fulfilled everything on the list.
Everything.

And I know it was only a mini one, for the months until I turned 22, but I did it. I did it all. I became it all. I made it all happen. And I did it all before I reached my birthday. I can't believe it.

So, even if those wacky Mayans are right...although as the wonderful Brad Paisley has tweeted:  "Using the Mayan calendar to say the world is going to end can't be right.The Mayan Swimsuit Calendar has a Miss January." But even if they are right, I'm pretty okay with what I've conquered in the last few months, and how far I've come, and how much I have matured and grown up in so many different ways...and it's given me a pretty laissez-faire attitude to life the last few weeks, as a few lucky people can attest to, of thinking "Well, if the world is going to end, I may as well do what I want to do, and not be scared of anything anymore" and that's a pretty empowering way to think. I guess that's why lots of people preach 'Live like it's your last day on Earth'. True that. Has anybody else been thinking like this lately? If so, I'd love to know I'm not alone in these wackadoodle thoughts.

The alternate ending to Cinderella

Well, here you all are, dear readers. And here I am, late as usual.

I would love to say that this entry was going to be a rewrite of the classic Grimm Brothers tale which, as you long term readers know, is my favourite fairy tale, but alas it is not. Well, in a matter of speaking it might be. Or it might be a subtle elusion to what Cinderella and I had in common, and what neither of us no longer are doing. I'm very vague, aren't I?

Needless to say, well actually there is a need, there has been a huge change in my life here within the last two days. It was a turbulent day for me yesterday and I was really shocked and overwhelmed. For those who don't know what I'm referring to, all that needs to be said is that I will no longer be working as a full time au-pair for this family. I am also changing locations. It's been a bit worrying for me to try and find somewhere else to live, and I'm having to think very hard at the minute about what else I can do for employment here. There aren't, well, ANY positions for a freelance blogger with a plucky can do attitude and a pretty empty bank account.

I'm feeling good though. I didn't think I would be, last night was very difficult, but today I think this is right. I need to be more in the city, experiencing life the way a 21 year old should be. It's true that lately I haven't been able to be myself, and perhaps that has shown. I feel like I have lost almost the entirety of my sense of humour and that I can barely string together a witty observation anymore. This is going to change.

So I bring you the new blog. Still my travels. Still my embarassing problems. Still my emotions served up on a plate for you to gorge on. I'm just going to have different trials and tribulations. And (hopefully) a job. Because I really don't want to leave Basel right now. It's such a stunning  place and I don't feel like I'm finished here yet. So, I'm working on at my TEFL qualification, studying my German, hopefully finding some part time tutoring/dog walking/ babysitting incomes, and enjoying the fact that I have a place to go home to at night where I can have LIE INS and where I can have QUIET. And a lovely housemate, who let me stay in his flat so nicely. Now just to find some rent money!

In other news, because I'm sure you're all gutted to hear about my misfortunes (or just really bored). Or smug. (Get off my blog then, you evil git! May I reference you to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE) Someday, I'll be, living in a big old city, and all you're ever gonna be is meeeaaaan! Taylor gets it. If only someone would make my blogs into top pop hits then we'd be laughing... I'm nearly certain that SOTPM was sitting in front of me on the tram today. Anybody remember that one? He seems about a million stalks ago. A different time. When I could wear shorts without looking like a ridiculously annoying person. You know the people I mean, those ones that stubbornly have their legs out in freezing temperatures, blushing as pink as a baboon's backside. I couldn't believe it when I saw him. At least, I think it was him. He was a dead ringer, this guy, anyway. It seemed a fitting way to finish this section of my expat saga.

Not sure when I'm moving yet, maybe this weekend. I'm sure I will fill you in on what's going on. Here's the top five things I'm most looking forward to about my move:
1. Being in the hubub of city life (well, a bit closer anyway)
2. Cooking my own food (I really miss cooking!)
3. Regaining my sense of how living in a house can be fun
4. Sleeping past 8 o'clock
5. Coming and going whenever I like, without feeling like a criminal for getting home late.

In saying that, I've learnt a lot from these past two months and I don't think the chapter is fully finished. It just needs to be bookmarked for a while.

I wish you all a happy Hunger Games. And may the odds be ever in your favour.

And then Barbie mounted the other llama

It's actually been a week since my last entry...I have once more become a weekly blogger...so sorry! For anybody out there (hi Mum) who's been checking back to see if I have updated and discovered I haven't posted anything, I'm really sorry. I'm not really sure why I never seem to be here to post anymore...it might be because the weeks are going so fast that I can't keep up or it might be because I'm really lazy or it might be because I have actually been out living a little bit rather than sitting at my computer screen, and this is a good thing, right? For me it is everything. To have actually had a weekend where I feel like one of the things on my life long bucket list has finally been fulfilled. Bearing in mind, this is something I've been wishing for since I was about 10 years old that has finally been fulfilled. I'm not going into details. Some of you know what I am talking about. Just to say: I feel really good about this and it has filled me with a completely new vigour for life. It seems to be that I actually have the potential to be treated as a normal girl, not a girl people think it is alright to say to 'You're a bit strange'. I am. But it's not okay to say so. Everything seems a bit more HD in life. Hallelujah.

It's been nearly two months since I arrived here now and I can't believe it. I feel already like I have grown up in so many ways and learnt so much. I have met so many people lately that just seem like they're worth knowing. This makes me really excited that I have the potential to have a large and varied group of friends here. I feel like inside I am a warmer, happier person than beforehand. I am also a bit less of a cry baby. My skin is getting so thick that things just bounce of me like a Mr Bump/Mr Strong collision...That's right. I don't mean to boast, but I can literally read Mr. Strong from start to finish without the book in front of me. Impressive, right?

I had an extra class last Friday and it was really cool. We had class in a tapas bar..and no, the irony wasn't lost on me ordering tapas in German...It was nice though, it felt more like an evening out with friends, than being students and a teacher. We even all said goodbye to each other with literal cheek kisses on street corners. I felt like a major European. I really wish this sort of thing happened at home too. People'd be a lot happier in life! I would be anyway... ;)

What's been happening lately? That's a good question. Except for my obvious self revelations, I've learnt so much more about how people work too. I've made friends. I've lost some too. It's a shame. But I'm trying to live without regrets. On a similar vein, Fizzy Man and me are now on the outs. He sent me a text message today saying 'You're a silly girl. You do things I don't approve of. I don't have time for silly little girls.' I couldn't even bring myself to respond. The children told it true though. They shook their heads at his cheek when I read the message and said 'You should not marry Fizzy Man. You will find someone better.' On the plus side, I got married to a five year old while we were pretending an elaborate make believe in which he was a pretty red haired woman in a nice dress smoking a cigarette and I was a really cool handsome man also smoking a cigarette. Match made in heaven.

Today I was watching Barbie the llama with the children and she suddenly legged it after the other llama down the field. Ever saw a llama run? It's worth a watch...seriously. Anyway, we instantly thought it was a fight between two female llamas...and then I noticed something. And thought...'Oh crap, is she gonna...no, she can't be, she's a she...' and suddenly it was the bathroom scene in Mrs Doubtfire all over again. Turns out love is in the air on the llama farm. And Barbie? Barbie is a dude.

This weekend I went to Zurich on Saturday to watch the GAA 10 year celebration tournament. It was great. I couldn't believe the crowd of Irish people all in one place. They had come from all over the North of Switzerland to compete and socialise. For me it was a great chance to meet some new people. And I did meet some people I really dug. And people I definitely want to see again. The only problem being making friends with people who live upwards of two hours away. Will they ever be bothered having to make the train journey to hang out? Will I ever buy the half-price ticket for train travel?? All these questions, and a few more. It was a great day, though.  I wasn't home until 1AM which is practically sunrise by my normal standards of bed time going. 

Yesterday I went to see the end of the Basel half-marathon as two guys I'm friends with here were competing. It was a cool day to get out as well. It was lovely to hang out with three people who really have been good friends to me since arriving here, even though I'm a bit of a pain. Not to mention the wee baby, who sometimes is necessary to restore my faith in the goodness and sweetness of little ones. We all went for lunch. Where I managed to get sunburnt. Under an umbrella. On a cloudy day. I had a lovely salad worth mentioning just because it was both peaches and feta cheese and yet was still delicious- such a good combo actually!!

We all went to the pub in the afternoon and I got a chance to for once have a bit of a girly gossip with my friend outside. It was great because normally there's no other girls about. I also got a chance to chat to some awesome people I already know and meet some new people. It always surprises me to get compliments. And when people are so nice to me. People were saying my accent is beautiful. Never usually get told that. And one really nice guy offered to basically be my friend if I wanted to go to the cinema or for dinner or for anything really- how nice is that??

If I was to review this weekend...I'd be getting near to 10/10. The only real problem I'm having at the minute is my usual post-weekend fret that I imagined all of these lovely people I met were actually interested in me and actually wanted to see me again. You never can tell. Other than that, I feel pretty much complaint free. I feel like a Cheshire Cat if I stop to think of how far I've come from when I first arrived. So here it is, I'm happy. I have a place here. Almost. I'm so close I can touch it. I just need to reach a little bit more...

Anway, fingers crossed this entry will take me up to the 2000 views mark on my blog. Thank you for reading, watch this space....for the next manic depressive rant is due, I guess!

And remember, always check your llamas for phalluses before you name them after female icons. ;)

Lasagne, cannelloni, spaghetti...

It's literally a Black Swan!!!

 Hello, and how are you? Today it's Monday and I just spilt an entire bottle of water over myself- classic. Here we are, on the eve of the beginning of another week, and I'm sure you've all had amazing weekends, right? Of course you have, Downton Abbey is finally back on television- wayhey! What will Lady Violet do next?? And that Thomas...what a rogue!!

This weekend I ventured out of my usual standard weekend plans a little bit. I even ventured a little bit outside of my standard country of residence here. On Saturday I went to Lorrach in Germany. Just for a spot of light shopping.

Kangaroos!

I went with one of my lovely new friends from the Irish Club. It was nice to get to chat to a girl for a change. Well, that is, a girl that I actually like talking to. There are not many of those. We had a great time shopping, and I totally got a few bargains in H and M...and a huge loaf of bread.

The view mid- hike

But, of course, it wouldn't be a blog entry if I didn't inform you that once more I attracted some freaks. This is my favourite weird encounter yet, I have to say. It still makes me laugh. There we were, getting into a lift in the train station in Germany, having literally just arrived. An older Italian man joins us. After shaking hands with us, he proceeds to say 'Spaghetti, lasagne, canelloni, linguine' and just lists different types of pasta.

Why?

If this had been any sort of omen for future events, I'd hazard a guess that it's a bad one. He was hard to shake off too. He walked behind us naming pastas and occasionally saying 'Bella! Italia! Mama!' while I smiled indulgently and tried to make my nervous laughter natural.

It was a pattern which continued for the rest of the shopping trip. For some reason, I just attract freaks. It is a scientific fact. Whether they want to tell me funny things, or try and touch me, or just ask directions: there they'll be, wherever I lead.

The rest of the afternoon/evening was spent at her house in Basel and we got yummy Chinese food and talked and it was just so lovely to have a girl to confide in, the sort of little things you just really need to tell your female friends that boys just wouldn't want to listen to. It's nice to be in confidence with someone, it's all very Jane Austen.                                                                   

Sunday morning I had a bit of a panic of 'Oh no! I've got not plans. What am I going to do??' So I went for a lovely long walk with the doggy for an hour and we got into all sorts of routes I hadn't been yet. Unfortunately, she was trying her best to seduce the boy doggies so insisted on stopping to bat her eyelashes and, well, show them her bottom (not very polite!) on a constant basis. It was amazing to watch.

Luckily, upon my return, I discovered that I had an invitation to go hiking in the afternoon with my friends Sam and Christelle. Donning my best shorts and walking shoes, I excitedly awaited my opportunity to stretch my legs. I headed down to catch a bus in the village. I was seated comfortably waiting for it to leave, and it began to fill up with OAPs. I made some polite small talk with the old lady next to me. And then, as the engine started, I realised I was on the wrong bus. I leaped from my seat in a Tom Cruise stunt double style, dived through the crowds of the elderly with some hurried Enschuldigungs and managed to get off just before the doors rolled shut.

Add caption

Seated on the right bus, I was able to start my journey.

Oh look, we're standing next to a herd of cows...in their field.

We were really a funny group. All of us had a different first language and a bit of both other languages. It might have made for some confusing times but somehow we managed it just fine. It was excellent practice for my German, and for my exceedinly rusty and almost forgotten French. We had some good times. Singing into a carrot, doing Karrotoke- oooh it's so bad it's good!, writing my own Ten Commandments on a slate in a cage, performing a lively rendition of 'If You're Happy and You Know It' with all actions included, getting lost and wandering through fields of cows. Asking 'Is that fence electric?' and getting through it fine, only to be shocked by a different fence- Alanis Morisette might have something to say about that. It ended up being a 3 hour something hike so it was pretty energetic and also educational and it just felt like a very healthy sort of day. We ended our walk back at their house in the village next to mine and we had a lovely pizza dinner and a drink of champagne and a further chance to practice our languages.

 I've enjoyed my weekend a lot, and I am really looking forward to next weekend as well. I'm going the whole way to Zurich, there is DEFINITELY going to be a few freaks talking to me en route!!!

The countryside where I was walking was beautiful and definitely worth a visit. The little Geman town of Lorrach is definitely worth going to for getting the same clothes 15 minutes away for half the price. Amazing.

Meanwhile, I am learning the true meaning of 'Sticks and stones' in work at the minute...but I guess you can't file a bullying in the work place report against a 5 year old, can you? But words still hurt!

Hope you're all well and haven't been too bored by my blog tonight! I'm sure there'll be a big drama soon enough and then everyone (but me) will be ecstatic!

The funny business with Danny Zuco

Tonight I am having a calm evening of self reflection and relaxation, i.e. eating M and Ms, practicing my gangam dancing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFkXT49dKz0&feature=g-all-u and wishing I had somebody to talk to. All day I've been filled with a need to blog out my frustrations and I've been looking forward to this moment so much. The last few entries I've been very aware that I have people who are reading it and who are reading it with certain expectations and hang ups and judgments and I'm worried I have compromised who I am in this blog. I don't want that. I am me. This is for me. This is basically my diary so when I say things here they're heartfelt. I am a peanut m and m, cracked open with my centre exposed.

For some reason, and this could be due to any number of things, I'm having a day today where I just feel like I've gotten stuck between a rut and a hard place. Maybe it's a distinct lack of plans this weekend, or the few tangible friendships I thought I'd built here feeling a bit imaginary at the minute, or maybe it's just one of those days, but I just feel like I am in major need of some time apart.

Anyway, this is probably making for a pretty rubbish blog entry so I will promptly stop thinking about things and tune out of myself, because I have had some funny moments in the last week. That's right, it's been almost a whole week since my last blog entry. I've been taking some time off. A vacation without any holiday days. And now I'm back...to let you know, I can really shake it down! (Sorry, accidental but necessary Dirty Dancing reference)

What has been pretty much a constant in my life for a number of years is the feeling that my life might actually just be an episode of awkward. If you haven't saw this television show, you're missing out. It's funny and true and nice and shocking and...well, awkward. It's one of my true pleasures in life at the minute to watch all the episodes. If you enjoy the awkwardness of my blog, you'll also love this show.

Yesterday evening, I went out for dinner with several of the people from the BIC (Basel Irish Club) in this lovely restaraunt in KleinBasel called Volkshaus. It was yummy (pretty pricey) but yummy (we didn't have to tip.) I had the wurst und kase salat mit pomme frites (sausage and cheese salad with chips) It's one of the local classics and reaaaallly nice, I love the sausages and the cheese over here so it was win win for me. If anybody asks me how I'm enjoying Switzerland, I usually answer along the lines of 'Cheese. Yum. Me likey.' I guess that's why people have stopped asking me how it's all going. Or asking me anything. This seems an ideal time to place an ironic saying :TGIF....

 
Anyway, while out for dinner, there was also a Swiss woman who was sitting with us. So, along the lines of asking politely 'Why are you with the Irish club' I was told a story. A very long story. With lots of background. And a pretty awkward ending. Basically, the short of it, she fell for an Irish man...there was 'funny business'...he was married....wife read a letter she wrote to him...all hell broke loose, or as she said it 'The s*** well and truly hit the fan.' You know, the usual story. She was quite a character. But there was weird moment when I was looking at her, and thinking, and reading her novel she set on the table. And thinking some more. Hold on, she was an au pair, she's now and author, she seems to have appallingly bad luck with any/all males: it's future me! And then I got very deep. I was thinking, is this an inevitable end result? Is there any way for me to change this? I don't want to be the eccentric older woman who is still relegated to being a passing fancy for a man, even when she is older and has children. But she still has no luck?? So I was having an early-20s crisis, and I could sense I was pushing the button on the bus, shouting 'let me off at this stop, I don't like where we're heading', but it wasn't stopping, and the more I pushed the button, the more I was becoming an eccentric maniac pushing a button. I already am that girl that people describe as 'funny'. Crap. Is it too late? Am I ever going to be able to escape this path? Will I have to acquire a cat with a name starting with Mr something, an eccentric plum smoking jacket and an abundance of clashing clothes which I wear defiantly in public occasions while I talk loudly over people? I don't really want to do any of these things but I don't know if I have a choice anymore. I've always been told I'm funny. I have already been served the death sentence.

Danny Zuco

Jess Mariano

At lunch today, a very funny and rather teenaged thing happened. It had been building up for a while. There is a building site directly ajoined to the house here. There is a builder who looks like a cross between Danny Zuco (Grease) and Jess Mariano (Gilmore Girls). Anyway, I've been eyeing him up every time he comes around to work, because there's never anything much to look at while I'm working, and it's nice that if I have to play Mummys and Babies constantly then at least I can look at some art while I'm there. Everytime I see him I hear 'I got chills, they're multiplying...and I'm loooooosing control'. I guess it's some sort of social justice that after all the years of womankind being wolf whistled at and ogled by pervy builders, that I can right the wrong by watching him work with pure delight. Anyway, he said 'Hi' to me this morning and gave me a wave and suddenly I was donning my black spandex and some pretty poodley curls and squishing a cigarette with my peep toe shoes and saying 'Tell me about it, stud' in a rather inexplicable way. So, then at lunch, we were eating outside, and I could barely contain myself from staring at him while I was eating my raspberries and the dad of the family said to me 'Careful, you'll hurt your neck' and then said 'I think you fancy him.' Well, I looked at him deadpan and said 'I think you're right.' Well, the silver lining to my incorrigibility, they're all calling him Danny now. I'm terrible...

This afternoon I went to the zoo with the kiddies, and you know who was there??? Fizzy Man!! If you don't remember, Fizzy Man is the imaginary boyfriend of the little girl who sometimes calls and texts her, except the scandalous thing is that apparently he is now my boyfriend yet continued to contact me through her phone. He's cheeky, our Fizzyman. Anyway, I had a creative afternoon of Fizzy Man spotting with the kids, and I had them convinced that he had been allowed to go swimming with the seals and had played a rousing game of football with them while he was there. They were very jealous.

So, there you have it, Fizzy Man and I have plans now to drink a carbonated drink and some Haribo sours..because both these things are fizzy. Like him.

We bid you adieu.

Would you like butter or jam...boree?

Sunday morning walk

Are ya well, cuz you're looking well! ;)

Here we are again, at the cusp of something happening...probably my tangible grasp of reality slipping imperceptibly. But something anyway.

As we stand I am the proud survivor of another weekend. And it's been a pretty good one! Saturday was a big challenge for me- being alone for an entire day with the children. I was so scared I'd mess up...but I was also super determined to prove my critics wrong that I could do it without any help. And I did.

There were a few funny moments on the day. I was chuffed that they downed huge plates of the sausage and mash I made at lunch as they are usually pretty meagre eaters. Must have been good. Who am I kidding...I'm practically a professional masher. It probably helped that I did an amazing interpretive chipolata sausages song and dance while I was cooking. Yep, that one went down well!

Para-para-paradise

I had a nice time mid afternoon when we went up to Mariastein to see the end of the vintage car rally which the parents were competing in. I enjoyed a momentary reprise and had a lovely chilled glass of Feldschlossen (the lovely local beer) and then my friend came and met me there and we did a geek-tastic tour of the huge monastery in the village. I had a paranoid moment when my shoulders were uncovered in the church so had to drape my cardigan but nobody seemed to care. The confession booths had a light on top which lit up when there was a booth available- really made me laugh! Also went to a very scientific and interesting exhibition...just a shame the explanation was all in German so I had to make an educated guess at most of the content of the exhibition. Seen lots of pictures of poor Jesus- why is it always the saddest moments of his life portrayed? I'd love to see a picture of him laughing with villagers or talking to the disciples, you know?

I made the colossal mistake of making Willy Winky funny near to bed time. I asked them the very philosophical question that was 'You know the way Willy Winky comes to the houses at 8 o'clock? What happens if he really needs to do a stinker at just that moment?' It resulted in an explosive round of shouting Stinky Winky and raspberry blowing which had them very hyped up before bed.

It's France!

 Sunday morning I went for a stunning walk out in the country. The weather was just perfect, so warm and dry but not yet scorching like the rest of the day was. I found myself standing on the top of a hill, with France and Switzerland laid out before me side by side and I had such a giddy moment of 'I'm in two places at once!' One of my life goals fulfilled :)

Next up, sand on a beach...

After my walk, I felt very chilled, I put on my jazzy new green trousers, and I went into the city to meet up with BB. We were going to do the whole tourist thing because sometimes when you first arrive at a place you just don't go exploring straight away until you find your footing. Safe to say, we've well and truly found our feet now. That's one of my favourite things about BB. He really likes to be daring and spontaneous. He lives life a lot closer to the edge than I do. He doesn't get worried or scared by rules, or fear of getting lost, or anything like that. He does things with the utmost conviction that somehow it'll all work out, no matter how lost you get. He's a cool guy.

New present...for me??

We saw some really funny sights while we were there. While walking down a random sort of back street (spontaneous short cut...edgy) we happened to stumble into...a scout jamboree. What?? It was mega cool, with stalls and cool wooden dens, and stalls of info and a bbq. Completely wacky! Next up, we stumbled down towards the Rhine. We came across this weird sort of party storage thing where there was loads of crates and chairs and, much to BB's delight, a box of fine looking tall beer glasses. He took one. Daring. Oh, the vicarious adrenaline rush! Meanwhile, I had my own adrenaline rush when I slipped on some wet moss and nearly fell into the fast flowing Rhine. Stupid flip flops!

Stunning, no makeup working photo, with the pretty Healey in background :)

We also went and geeked around another church and admired the archictecture of the Munster and all the general old buildings- things were made so much better then. We went to McDonalds for lunch- I was loving it, haven't been there in aaages so it seemed all fresh and new. Got my classic order of McChicken Sandwich with chips and coke. Classic. Did consider the happy meal...but the toy wasn't up to much!

In the afternoon, we headed to Paddys as usual to meet the gang to watch some sport. This week's new sport for me: Hurling. I loved it. Wish I'd seen more of it before. It's so fast-paced and engrossing, I couldn't believe it when we reached half-time, and when it ended, went so quickly. We were all cheering on the underdog team and they ended up tie-ing with the other team so it was really cool to all be cheering together and feeling like part of something. There's talk of the Basel lot forming teams for GA, Hurling and Camogie. I'm really considering giving Camogie a go. From what I can gather...it's like hockey but you can sometimes use your stick as more of a weapon, and you barrel into people in true rugby tackle style. And if you knock someone out...it's not always a yellow card. Fantastic.

Today I went to a lovely swimming pool place behind the beautiful castle in Bottmingen with the children. It was really cool. I only got to go to the kiddies pool but across the bridge there seems to be an epic swimming pool with a water slide and everything...maybe someday I'll go back while I'm not working and give that slide a whirl.

Also, I totally ordered mince at a meat counter in Coop entirely in German...I'm like a pro now. Except for when I try to set up a bank account and an entire post office have to join in to help with the translation.I swear my life is sometimes like an Indie European subtitled movie. Deffos getting a bike with a basket next to ride down all the cobbled streets. And to put a baguette in.

Gesundheit and such

Only a short post today, readers, as I just discovered my travel adaptor isn't suitable for Switzerland...as well as being the one Euro country without the euro, it also doesn't have european adaptor plugs so as such, my laptop and phone are both going to die out imminently and I will be cut off from technology *goes mad slowly* Arrrrgh!!

I'll just give you the highlights: I'm here safely 'in der nahe von' Basel, I've met the family who are so nice. The parents are looovely and funny, I know we're going to get on well! The children are desperate for my attention, at the expense of my hair (which has become a toy), their bodies (covered in injuries) and the decency of human kind (they've been screaming a lot). If they'd just calm down I know we'd get on great too. They're fantastic when they do quiet down.

It's amazing how fast I've picked up the basic instincts of this whole parenting thing. I am managing surprisingly well, I have now seen more bare bottoms than a nudist might have, as they are often thrust towards me for inspection during the course of the day.

There have been a few surreal moments already. Zurich airport was surreal. After arriving in our terminal, we were ushered a mile or so onto an inner airport subway which played what I assumed was the soundtrack of Switzerland: involving bird song, trumpets, bells ringing, yodelling, male voice choirs and some very angry cows. I couldn't resist a snigger or two to myself. Next up we walked through a ridiculously long queue of customs, where I eventually got to pick up my bag. By the time I eventually got to the train station, after lugging two suitcases down four flights of stairs all alone, I had to queue for 20 minutes in the slowest ticket queue in the world. I eventually got to order my ticket in pigeon German, only to discover I had missed the final direct train to Basel. I was ordered down the stairs to Platform 3...only problem, when I got down the stairs, there was only platform two and three. Meanwhile I could see Platform 3 in the distance, but there were lots of rail tracks between me and there...arrrgh! I raced back up the stairs, and managed to find the RIGHT staircase and pelted towards my train to Zurich which was standing there. With the doors shut. In the UK that means a train is leaving. Thankfully, I ambushed an attractive man with a bike and he got me on to the train phew!

I was veeeery relieved to finally make it to my final connection in Zurich and sit down on a train and down a bottle of water. Thank the Lord!

Seeing the family on the platform was a welcome surprise and conversation came easy. We made our way into the pouring rain while I apologised profusely that I had indeed brought the weather with me, as they had had perfect sunshine until I arrived. It also rained all day today. Uhoh.

In other news, I picked blackberries, saw France within touching distance, crossed a river on a single unattached plank, saw a young male deer frollicking, oodles of pear trees, cherry trees, walnut trees (basically any thing on a tree I seen...except for a stupid excuse for a tween romance carving their stupid names on a tree. Thank goodness!

I also witnessed approximately 10 temper tantrums, some remarkable acrobatics, and my utter despair that after I finish this, I am officially cut off from the world... goodbye for now, here's hoping my poor mother can find me the right adaptor. Otherwise it's goodbye indefinitely.... dear goodness, please no!

Riding the bus with my sister

Before you ask, this is not a Rosie O'Donnell related blog...although the film title I have selected for the title is perhaps one of her most hilarious roles...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5osxqNncTk.

(For those who followed the link) I'm sorry you had to see that...I am not in anyway responsible for the content of the trailer, or indeed the film. But still, look up the bit about the toilet seat...makes me laugh everytime!

 This blog is in fact about my most recent travels back to Scotland. My mother (Big Bad Hezz) and I landed at Inverness airport, where on my way through security, I accidentally dropped the entirety of my toiletries into a bin and had to practically jump in it to rescue them again, and were promptly whisked away in my sister's car to her pad in Lossie. On our way there, however, we stopped for lunch. In a hippy commune. The sandwiches were nice, and there were some weiiiird people around, so all in all, it was a very enjoyable lunch time. We stopped in at the little gift shop, where there were heaps of weird statues of made up angels or something like that but we just ignored those, and went to the food section. I wanted a drink and seen a bottle called 'Rose Lemonade'. Thinking that it looked yummily like the strawberry lemonade that seems to only be available in the United States, I got a bottle. Unfortunately, it was exactly what it said on the tin. Rose flavoured lemonade. Yum. Plus, it had extract of ginger which always reminds me of being travel sick and therefore makes me a wee tad nauseous. What a nice drink.

Anyway, we eventually made it back to Kat's house and we were mightily excited for the Olympic Opening Ceremony which was happening that evening, because we are big fans of the Olympics in general.. And it's happening in our country. That doesn't happen often. Well, I may as well give my opinion on the ceremony as well, as the world and his wife seems to be weighing in on the topic. First off, let's just make this clear. I don't think the Olympics is in anyway a political statement about conservatives, the rich and the elite. I think it is what it is. A chance for the best in the world to get a chance to prove they are the best. It's a chance for the underdogs to rise, for records to be set, for amateurs to defy expectations. I thought they were brilliant, actually. The whole time the Queen and James Bond were travelling in that helicopter I was thinking 'No, no, she's not going to jump, is she??' When that stunt double was flipping through the air I almost lost it- how cool! Giant floating Voldemort was great, I liked him. Rowan Atkinson playing the keyboard was really funny. It all made me really proud. Especially when each country in the U.K got to sing their national anthem- I totally welled up at 'Danny Boy', especially as they were on the amazing Giant's Causeway- one of the many novelties of my country, another being Liam Neeson...

Beer and Olympics...yeaaaaah buddy!

We found ourselves enjoying a Corona or two, as well as some cherry seeds and once more proved our absolute class by spitting out our cherry stones into a Cath Kidston mug. Classy.

It was a bit of a late night, as the ceremony continued on until one in the morning, and by this point, it was really only me still alive, trying to guess which country was going to come out next. I was a little gutted to see that all of the track team were absent, as the wonderful beauty that is Chris Tomlinson was absent from our screens. Shame!

The cherry stone debris

Anyway, the real purpose of our visit was to help Katherine move house. So in between watching episodes of The Biggest Loser USA- which we fast forwarded and only watched the challenges and the weigh ins- we started the packing process.

We did find ourselves getting very distracted, particularly as Hezza had just acquired a Tablet, that we bought her for her birthday, and it was like watching Bambi play the Chattanooga Choo Choo on a saxophone. The funniest quote was probably 'Are those really emoticons?? I thought they were 'therefore' signs. What...just what??

Anyway, no moving day would be complete without a montage of action with an upbeat 80s hit in the background. So we took a novelty picture or two. Here we are in checked shirts, braids, and bandanas. It's all very Gilmore Girls.

We made the big move on Monday morning, bright and early. My mother and Kat's neighbour Lisa went ahead with all the stuff in a big white transit van while me and Kat drove in her car behind them, singing along to 'Where is the Love' and planning Kat's political career.

Her house in Aberdeen is goooooooooooooorgeous!! Everything has been newly rennovated, all the furniture and appliances were brand new, it had huge windows and lovely high ceilings and it had a drawbridge. Yes, you literally go across a drawbridge to enter the house. Blew my mind.

We met her lovely new housemate Rhona, we saw the local area- which has fake ski slopes really close- super jealous!! We ate mac and cheese and I set up the tv and we all had a lovely evening. Tuesday morning we went home via Aberdeen airport. What a nice, stress free little airport!! I really liked it's lay out and for once nothing went wrong in security. Yesterday afternoon I got my hair cut- noooooooo!! Never fear, avid readers, it was only a trim! I was worried that like Samson all of my strength would be deminished. Luckily, this was not the case. I also purchased some Union Jack knickers in Tesco so....Go on Team GB!!

What's next for me? I hear you ask..

Oh yeah, I'm moving to Switzerland in four days. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhh!!!!! The fear has well and truly set it!

QOTR