Friday 31 January 2014

Growing Up: A Guide for Amateurs

This guide is brought to you by someone who has a lot of free time. The author spends her time making up mid-sentence rhymes and chasing her dog around singing the 'Murder She Wrote' theme tune and greeting her as 'Detective Dog'. Please note: Items included within the guide may not be all that useful (although they are meant with the best intentions).

Here are a few statistics (as you know, I love maths...) for you about my 2013. 
*Times I saw my closest friends: 5 or less for all of them
*Holidays I went on: 0
*Times I thought 'I love my life!: 0-1
*Times I accidentally talked to myself: Countless
*Amount of box sets I watched: Infinity and one


So, as you might guess, it wasn't that great a year. If I could describe it in one word it would be: 'Meh' with a shoulder shrug.

My New Year's Resolution was to grow up. It was also to stop thinking negatively or be consumed by my own anxieties. I want to do things I really love in 2014. I want to do things just because I can. I want to be happy. And I'm hoping, if I put some good karma out there, good things will happen in exchange. I am dipping my toe in the Sea of Tranquility (or insert other hippy terminology here). So this blog is to mention a few things I am doing differently.

1. Getting outside much more often. I so seldom left my house at the start of 2013 that I almost completely missed wearing any Winter clothing for that really cold spell. My dog has become so accustomed to my presence that she will inconsolably weep until she gets in for a cuddle each day. Her dinner time has also become increasingly early as she gets more and more greedy. So for January, I have been going lots more places. My favourite of which is the local park. Word of warning, be aware of your fellow walkers and be careful who you go behind on the path. I learnt this the hard way. I was following behind an older gentleman, dandering along with a limp. He started throwing a seemingly unending stream of bread crumbs on the paths around him. The birds were quite pleased about this. So much so that I was completely surrounded by swooping and whooping birds as they ate the crumbs littering the path. Didn't help with my fear of birds. For unseen reasons, the old man decided to race me back to our cars, limping along as quick as he could. He then raced out before me and gave me a really sly grin. Typical! 

2. Take up new hobbies, or continue your most-loved ones. Here I was going to blog about the amazing new self-defence class I signed up for, and my first lesson would have been last night. Unfortunately there wasn't enough demand so they cancelled the class. There goes my dream of being able to see off scary yobs while 'Kung Fu Fighting' plays merrily in the background. So I am now thinking of new hobbies I can have. Currently I am reading A LOT of books really quickly and I don't know what is going on but I seem to be starting a new one every other day. I also seem to have to cut up boxes a lot lately in the search for the perfect dog bed for my rather strange canine friend. If she would stop eating her box while she lies in it then we wouldn't be having this conversation. 

3. Pay more attention to the friends you still have. It's very easy when you're feeling ignored and down in the dumps to not really enquire after your friends. Especially if they seem to have had an easy ride and gotten things a lot more easier than you have. However, my new attitude dictates that if I want people to care about me more, I need to care about them more. So if anyone wants to do something fun or have a nice chat, just let me know. I can't turn my back on the sort of people who I have been through the most random, fun and incredible times of my life with. Puppet shows and being a human caterpillar, and cardboard horse and summer holidays. Just to name a few...
 I'm going to my Country Music Festival in March so I am really looking forward to a nice trip to London with one of my best friends and my boyfriend. Hopefully that will be one weekend I don't have to listen to the comic stylings of Saturday night TV presenters as my only main company. 


Hi! I'm in my box. Do you enjoy seeing my underbelly?
Coo-ee, it's me, Detective Dog
4. Stop taking so many pictures of my dog. Or maybe, take more? Here's a few pictures I've taken recently. Too many, or not enough? 


The Decision Is Yours.

I'm in a new box! Yes! 
"You cannot be serious?" I'm Dog McEnwoof