If you could think of a way which ensured you were entirely distinctive, memorable and just downright charming, wouldn't you do anything to make sure you could maintain that way of life? Exactly! Well, guys and girls, I know what I'm going to do. If any of you savvy geniuses that read my blog (which is obviously all of you!) have noticed by the title of this entry, I am taking inspiration from one Senor Pitbull, or Armando Christian Pérez as his mother calls him, or Armie as I call him when we're alone ;)
What I've noticed this morning, as I tried to break up the mundanity of a Friday in the house, when the weather STILL hasnt breached 10 degrees, (in APRIL!) is that listening to Pitbull can make me feel exceedingly and unexpectedly chipper. This isn't just because I love rapping, or because he has an insane way of making you feel like part of the party, but because his rather famous way of shouting various accolades and delights at the start of a song seems to not only make him laugh but also makes me want to laugh along with his delightfully boyish chortle.
I'll give you an example of some of his most well-known PSJ, or pre-song jargon as it's known in full. Should I copyright this?? I just google searched and no one else has ever used this term on the internet. Sweeet, Pre-Song Jargon is now officially mine- but that's neither here nor there, sorry Pitbull!
"Me not working hard?
Yeah, right, picture that with a Kodak
Or better yet, go to Times Square
Take a picture of me with a Kodak
Took my life from negative to positive
I just want y'all to know that
And tonight, let's enjoy life
Pitbull, Nayer, Ne-yo, Tesra"
(the PSJ of 'Give Me Everything')
"To these rappers I apologize, I know it ain't fair
Only ball I drop, New Years Times Square
The world is mine, sixth sense, I see the seven signs
Now baby, let's get started for life"
(the PSJ of 'Get It Started')
"You don't get them girls loose loose (TJR!)
You don't get the world loose loose
You don't get money move move
But I do I do
You don't get them girls loose loose
You don't get the world loose loose
You don't get money move move
But I do I do
I said, y'all having a good time out there"
(the PSJ of 'Don't Stop the Party')
Now, I'm not saying his PSJ is the dreams of a post-deconstructionalist modernist bongo-banging poetry reading, but it has the carefree jokey banter of a warm up act at a comedy stand up, of a drunk Uncle's speech at a wedding, of an extremely sassy and funny rapper- and I really dig this!
So, that's why I decided I was going to take to following a few Pitbull lessons in my conversation, and I have listed these for your much needed benefit also. You're welcome.
1. It's both a handy way to remind an acquaintance of your name, and a good way to make an entrance into a room, by announcing your name like a slogan.
Here's a scene where it could be used:
Person 1: What a fab party we are having
Person 2: Yes, so fab!
Person 1: There's that girl/boy, what's her/his name again?
Person 2: I do believe I've forgotten as well
You (for example purposes you are called Joey): Listen room, it's me again, hahaahahaha, JOEY!
Person 1 and 2: Ehhhhhhh Joey! You rock!
Perfection.
2. You're trying to chat up a really dreamy boy/girl in a club, but you're having a mental block so that all you can think of is the lyrics to your favourite children song? No problemo, amigo! Take a lesson from Pitbull again. Think you can remember the word 'sexy'? You're sorted! Pitbull used the song 'If you're happy and you know it' replacing the word happy with 'sexy'...obviously!
Here's an example for you, feel free to use it Chief!
"Baa Baa SEXY sheep, have you any wool?" Not having the desired effect? Here's another one
"This little SEXY went to market, this little SEXY stayed at home, this little SEXY had roast beef, and this little SEXY had none, and this little SEXY said "Hey Joey, you're so funny, can I have your number?"
You scored!
3. A little bit of self confidence goes a long way. Let's face it. You're great. Who wouldn't want you, amigo? Take a lesson from my main man, and here I use the example of the song 'I Know You Want Me'- the proof is in the pudding (or title, as this case is). This song, coincidentally, for those lucky enough to have witnessed me in Second Year of Uni, in my own livingroom (that limits it down a bit!) is a great little number for busting some major ballroom dancing moves with your nearest massively enthusiastic Bruno Tanioli adjacent friend!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3_WBVgpoC0
WATCH THE VIDEO!
A few points to learn from the actual video
*Look fresh, preferably in a large black overcoat and sunglasses inside
*If you're not sure if she ACTUALLY wants you, laugh it off. 'Do you remember me? Mr World Wide?'
'No....'
'Hahahaahah! I know you want me.'
*Be so confident that they all want you that you can slouch with your hands in your pockets and shrug whenever they come near to you.
*Make sure everyone knows you can communicate in at least two languages. Bi-linguality is the best!
I hope you all learnt some things
4. Final point, never forget where you came from or who your collaborators are. Pitbull always announces his collaborators at the PSJ of a duet, people matter. Haters gonna hate, Pitbull learnt a lot of lessons of coming from nothing and becoming incredibly successful. I think this is highlighted in his song 'Back In Time' and if you ever find yourself in a verbal stand-off with some little skunky punk, I recommend you shout these lyrics at them (with your shades on to hide your tears)
"Ok, I'm tryin' make a billion out of 15 cents
Understand, understood
I’m a go-getter, mover, shaker, culture, bury a boarder, record-breaker won’t cha
Give credit where credit is due don’t cha
Know that I don't give a number two
Y'all just halfway thoughts
Not worth the back of my mind
But to understand the future we have to go back in time"
Finally, always have the last laugh. No matter what happens. You can counteract anything by a little bit of counting and a big joyful chortle
"Hahahaah!"
