Perving and Pirates

My view over the Rhine

There comes a time in every traveller's life when they just have to stop for a moment and reflect on just how lucky they are to be where they are when they are. I had that moment yesterday when I managed to find my way to the Rhine via a very convenient period in which I was completely lost. When I got up to the viewing point in Munsterplatz though, it all just became worthwhile again being here.

Although I might just shoot out anecdotes like a drug addict with a heroine needle, I also appreciate the true genuine beauty of the simple things in life. So I took some pictures. Surrounded by tourists. Like I was also a tourist. Except in a week's time they'll be back home and I'll still be riding the crazy expat train. Destination: Transcension...or insanity.

But now, as you all sit there- maybe in your pyjamas- oh cheeky! or maybe drinking a cup of tea- cheeky! Or maybe in the background watching a little TV or listening to The Archers while reading this- RUDE- perhaps you can see me not just as that wacky anecdotal call for help (seriously...why has no one responded?) but as an actual functioning human being with tear ducts and emotion and...oh heck, if you know me at all then you know I definitely have a bit too much of those! (You can tell I know my audience, can't you?) Except for you lovely randomers- thank you for reading as well! :D Jeepers, I sound like a Vlogger- apologies!

I had this eery feeling earlier on that there was something supernatural in the room. Mainly because the little girl was humming to herself while I did the dishes, and her special little voice she does sometimes sounds freakily like Gollum when he sings in Lord of the Rings...I was just waiting to hear 'Oohhh poor Smeagle...smeeeeeagle!' Freaky Friday! Ooh and it is Friday...bazinga!

I've spent my afternoon pretending to be a pirate. So, yeah, time well spent. I made cool pirate hats and we had a boat and I was fully in character as a rough and ready Captain, who wouldn't let no ladies on boar as 'we'd be cursed to kingdom come, aaarrrgh!' If anybody knows my accent, then they'll know it's not much of a stretch for me to be an entirely brilliant pirate. And I was. Unfortunately we were home alone and the door went so I had to answer with my pirate hat on and for some reason...high heels??

Yesterday I went to the park with the little girl and it was really a successful trip. You know how I know it was successful?? Because we both encountered our crushes while out and about. There's this boy who works as a mechanic and he looks like this. Yep, blooming Hugh Dancy. With a cheeky grin. I'm a sucker for engineering/mechanical sorts anyway, it's the whole hands on aspect (hey you, mind out of gutter!) but ;) great minds, eh? So, we were just walking past the garage he's walking towards us and I mean, I've exchanged a few back and forth 'Hallos' before, but she just shouts at him 'HELLO!' so of course he grins at me and then says 'Hallo'. It's weird, I find myself blushing really stupidly when he greets me. It doesn't help to always have an embarassing toddler in tow. Particularly when she then asks 'Do you know him?' after all her shouting. I haven't had a really stupid blushing crush since I was about 15 and I used to arrange run ins with the cute boy from the year above who used to eat his lunch near you. Gosh, I wonder what he's up to now, last I heard he was a pilot now in Belgium...wow, I still wouldn't say no. I also wouldn't say no to Hugh Dance(with me) Mechanic

So yeah, I ran into Hugh Dancy several times yesterday and the little girl was completely mesmerised by this little boy in the park. To be fair, he was a real cutie. But she insisted on doing everything he did, even climbing up way to high and swinging really quickly. It's cute, she knows him from play group but has so far been too shy to ask his name. And she's not shy. Anything but. Guess she's a little tongue tied. I thought it was hilarious though. So I've decided to encourage it as much as possible. I just really want to see her with a little boyfriend. Plus, they'd look really cute together. Going with the whole blonde and a brunette must have!

Wait a minute...I'm match making toddlers!

To add to my previous Freaks on a Tram post, had a particularly sleazy journey on the tram yesterday. With four key points of interest.

As soon as I left the house, there was a mysterious wolf whistle I heard that flew past me in a car but did not stay around for long.

Next up, walking towards me was a man who made some kissy noises to his left, as if to a dog, but when I reached that point and looked over...there was no dog.

Next up, I made it to the tram stop and there were two creepy looking builders who were leering at me and holding some very suggestive seeming tools (although probably not their fault if things were a bit phallic)

Now I'm pretty confused by all this as I'm not even remotely dressed alluringly. I think some people are just...strange. And I know that's ironic coming from me.

Finally, much to everybody's relief, I was brought back to earth with a crash landing on my journey home. Witnessed a girl who seemed to be on a date with her friend and her friend's boyfriend. They were sitting together cuddling and she was just sitting alone, pretending to text on her phone, feeling like a bit of a loser. It took me right back to my teenaged days... ahh the accompanying friend move- that was a depressing position! Then the couple got off, and I looked around me, and it was just me and the most spinster looking group of women left, all travelling alone, in one carriage.

And we all lived happily ever after...we opened a cat sanctuary! :D