And the Hoff said 'Hey!'

I know it doesn't look like it, but it is snowing

As the sun sets over the Riehen countryside, I finally get around to breathing long enough to write a new blog entry. I've been such a complete eejit lately for not keeping all of you up to date but I've just been all over the show lately, working some jobs, meeting up with some people, listening to a lot of Brad Paisley, seeing snow, mourning the lack of snow, riding a ferris wheel, going to a Halloween party, reading news live on air, reading my books for next week's book meeting, going to class, putting off doing actual studious things...so, you get the gist, I've been anywhere but in my room at my computer in the frame of mind for writing.

Ten green bottles, sitting on the wall!

I'm scared, truth be told, to stop and think too long. If I stop and think about, say, the fact that I have only 6 more weeks to find a job before I go home for Christmas, and if I don't find a job by then I might not be back here after the holidays, then I start to feel a little bit nauseous. The other night after class, I went to the really wacky fountain near Bankverein in the city centre and I got out my notebook and pen, and some pensieve music on my ipod, and my Fanta zero (I did NOT know there was a zero kind!!) and I wrote some lists. I wrote a pro and con list for staying here v moving home, and let me tell you, it was close.

And yesterday afternoon, when I stopped for a rest in rushing around, and I found myself feeling a little bit bummed out about some things, I started to think 'Do I want to stay here? What is there here for me?' and then the conflicting rush of confused emotions came barrelling at me all at once. There are so many wonderful, interesting, exhilirating things I have found here, or done, or people I have met and I can't imagine that it'd be any way easy for me just to walk away, no regrets, when there's so much more I want to experience and some people I really want to continue to get to know and live some time with...but at the same time, I'm so lonely sometimes even when surrounded by people, and those friends and family I have left at home in Ireland and in England who truly know me and love me anyway, make me really wish I was at home with them, laughing and talking and sharing these years together and it's such a confusing mix of thoughts that I find myself short of breath, on the verge of a panic attack.

The stupid thing is that I really want someone here to say 'Don't go! Everything will work out, but don't deprive me of your wonderful, wacky company!' or else someone at home to say 'You will always have a place here with us, you're welcome to come home, there's jobs you can get here, where you belong.' But I know this is ultimately my decision, and someone else can't choose for me, but it's times like these I really want to be able to see ahead in my future just a little bit, so I know where I'm meant to be in a few years, just so I might have some idea how I could get there.

But, hey, these moments are when I stop to think. So I'm putting off thinking as much as possible.

View from Ferris Wheel

I recorded an event which happened last Saturday night, which can only be retold in a dramatic manner, because it was a dramatic happening, so here we go, as I wrote it down word for word:

Getting tram home on Saturday night. Mid journey, while the snow magically drifted around, a group of 8 multilingual 20 something men dressed as the cast of Baywatch (Yes, the show from the 90s where everybody was really good at running really slowly). They cohorted merrily for the duration of the journey, clasping their blow up life rafts, singing the theme song in a glorious array of harmony and excellent musical timbre, with their baywatch shorts leaving their legs exposed to the minus degree cold. In order to get off the tram, they had to pass me. There I was, surrounded by them, regretting my choice of seat next to the door. One taps me on the shoulder and says 'Lustig, eg?' (Funny, eh?) so I laugh and say 'Baywatch. Cool.' They chortle so I ask 'Who is Pamela?' The American guy with the long blonde wig flicks his hair and says 'Me, of course.' One member of the group puts his leg up on the window ledge in front of me, impressing me with his surprising dexterity, slapping his thigh in a true 'Undercarriage' Bridesmaid moment. They gesture to the handsome youngster at the front of the group and say 'He's Denny. He was the only one with chest hair so he had to be.' I laughed. They proceed to say 'He doesn't look like it, but, weird things happen.'
The Denny impersonator grins at me and says 'Add me on Facebook, girl'. They all proceed to whoop. Then I realise, this is also my stop. I proceed to stand up amongst them. They all cheer and think, one or perhaps all, have pulled. The last I see of them, as we gracefully dismount the tram together, Pamela is gyrating in front of a taxi and the rest are slow running in true Bay watch fashion into the night club. It was beautiful. All this while I am wearing a woolly hat and Heidi plaits, no make up and a Bambi jumper. (I didn't think it was that embarassing a jumper, but someone reacted to me wearing it the other day by exclaiming 'Oh for Goodness (toned down by me) sake!'

You can almost tell I actually had company! Not my jacket ;)

While Babysitting, I got asked by the children, 'What age are you?' '21' I replied. *Look of shock* 'You look about 15 or 16!' Wow, thanks. Suddenly I don't mind looking young. This hasn't happened to me since I was 15 or 16- even as a 16 year old, the bus driver wouldn't believe I was 15 and I never got that discounted ticket. Tragic.

Beautiful bridge, stunning river, amazing cathedral...and a large flume.

 Also in my life, I made it to a bit of the Herbst Messe. What I think, the trams are too busy, the people are too rowdy, the fair is serious 90s UK chav-chique, it's very over-priced. In saying that, I was glad I went down to it.  I enjoyed my ein bisschen teyer (a little expensive) trip on the ferris wheel, it was cool to see the sights from up high and a good time to be on a date to get out of paying for everything yourself! Also, we went to a Cornish Pasty stand (of all things???) and I had a rather unconventional (but yummy) sausage and mushroom one. Other than that, I stuck to other places like the pub and Starbucks (for the beverages portion of the day. It was too f-f-f freezing for much outdoor wandering!

He's lying down

By Tuesday, the snow had faded into a distant memory, leaving only a few lonely snowmen who still had some work to do. Like this poor fellow here, discovered while in the play park. But here he stands, evidence that just two days earlier, there was a lot of snow! If you were lucky enough not to live city centre anyway...where there was no snow.

On Wednesday, I made my way to St Gallen for a Halloween party at night time. It was a long ass train journey as usual, but I enjoyed the party and it was good to see people I hadn't seen in a while. There was MUCH more snow there!!! It was in like piles, all scooped up, to clear the roads. That felt like the real deal a bit more.

I made my real debut on the radio, and was told I had a certain 'bounce' to me that would serve me very well in radio journalism. Long may it continue. Now, if I would only hurry up and do my research for the next show in three days time aaaargh! I'm majorly lazy today...oh well, there's always tomorrow to move my bum.

I returned this morning from babysitting in France, had a yummy fresh almond croissant for breakfast, and cuddled a very cute dog while I watched Kristen Stewart give probably her least constipated performance in 'Snow White and the Huntsman.' Charlize Theron, you legend, you stole the show on this one! 

We'll meet again soon, I hope...Unless I lose my mind and try to end it all by jumping off the bridge into the Rhine. It would be a pretty place to end, I guess!